Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

There's nothing quite as sad or terrible as knowing that each moment you have with your friends, doing your usual weekend-getaway routine, could be the last time.

I know that sounds a little fatalistic. What can I say? I've had some fatalistic moments in life. Sometimes we like to tell ourselves we have all the time in the world, that the things and people we love will remain in a more-or-less permanent stasis until we return. They won't stay precisely the same, but you don't expect big changes. You don't expect people to move, or change jobs, divorce, or die, or anything that would really change their lives beyond the reality you know.

On Saturday night, I met up with my friends K&J at their usual Saturday night hang-out, where several usual friends joined up with our usual karaoke DJ, Tom, and our usual bartender poured more-or-less our usual drinks as we sang our usual songs. It was all the normal thing, which was wonderful. The only difference was, this time there was an unusual theme. That theme was farewell.

There can be great comfort in routine, in seeing the people you love and partaking in a favorite activity. This was made far more bittersweet by the fact that I may never be back here again, with these same people, singing these songs at Saturday karaoke. We may never spend a Sunday morning lounging around before finally dragging ourselves two blocks to our favorite brunch spot, then spending the rest of the afternoon shopping, lounging and catching up on the newest episodes of our favorite shows. Every joke, every bite of food, every debate, every stupid argument, it all becomes sweeter and more poignant.

The overwhelming feeling from last night was joy to cover up deep pain and sadness. Some people have tried to get me to look on the brighter side, but I'm definitely more in a wallowing mood. Luckily some people were definitely down there in the muck being miserable with me. As Tom said, "There's nothing fair or well about this!" (Thanks, Tom, I wholeheartedly concur.)

But unfortunately, in this instance, I don't think there's anything else to do but to sign off and go back to the latest episodes of "Homeland" with my friends. Goodnight, guys.