Penoptic

Okay, I admit it. When I was a kid, I watched 'Saved By the Bell.' And I thought Zack Morris was highly date-able. Then again, I was eight. Sixteen years later, flipping between CNN and 'The Today Show', I run across the SbtB College Years series finale: the Zack/Kelly wedding! This brings back numerous memories for me, from watching the show on Saturday afternoons to all the fan discussions I've had over the years. Like how Kelly treated Zack like crap. You know it's true - first she dumps him on the night of the big high school dance for a college boy, then in college she dumps him for ... a professor? Not even just any professor, but Patrick Fabian, the same guy who used to do the commercials for Ruby Tuesday's. Sounds like a girl who not only can't make up her mind, but also doesn't know a good thing when she sees it. Because in spite of everything, you know that Zack and Kelly were meant to be together. And how Kelly just disappeared after junio...

A quote regarding a statue of the Virgin Mary in a mountain side grotto: "Did you know, no matter how bad the light is, no matter how long you stare at it, no matter how much drink you've taken, ..." "Go on." "That statue will not move a whisker." Taken from Ballykissangel, Season 1 (though in the UK and Ireland they say Series 1) finale, "Missing You Already."

A quote for you to ponder as we edge ever closer to the Pennsylvania primary: "There are 340 billionaires in this country, and 40 million living below the poverty line. Wake up, 7-11. This is the third world." -- taken from Season 2 of Weeds

Of all the terrible made-for-TV movies out there, this one might take the cake. Catherine the Great, empress of Russia, had a life that was anything but dull, but this bio-pic from 1995 bores to tears. Though it seems to take scant fewer poetic licenses than Josef von Sternberg's 1934 masterpiece 'The Scarlet Empress,' any comparison between the two would be the height of hubris. Von Sternberg could make tension crackle in black and white with the use of candles, one blond face, and a strategically-placed banister; this film, though it continues longer into Catherine's reign than 'Scarlet Empress' did, can't make even a spark from this fiery woman. Whereas one wishes that 'Scarlet Empress' would go on and on, this film moves slowly and doesn't end soon enough. Catherine Zeta-Jones made this film three years before her break-out role in 'The Mask of Zorro,' and while she does show a moderate amount of potential in the role here, she is now...